Soulmate: the myth of the perfect couple

The concept of the ‘soulmate’ comes from Plato's work ’The Symposium’. In the story, Aristophanes, one of the characters, gives a speech in which he explains that human beings originally had a spherical shape like oranges. They had two opposite faces in the same body: double male, double female and male-female.

These individuals wanted to face the gods and climb to the sky, but the god Zeus punished them for their audaciousness by cutting them in two, so they would then be separated and permanently searching for their other half.

How to find your soulmate

The myth of the soulmate, far from being a harmless romantic idea, can be the basis for much unhappiness and many problems within couples.

• We're the ideal couple. This idea begins with a total idealisation of loving relationships. We can only achieve full happiness if we find our soulmate, only then will we achieve perfection.

• Everything has to fit.   There are no two people alike, and when there are differences, problems arise.

• We're made for each other. Living as a couple to learn.  The fact that two people are together is largely a consequence of chance. The fact that they are happy together is the result of their capabilities, abilities, efforts and patience.

• You complete me. If we think that only through a relationship can we achieve a happy life, we would be wrong. Happiness is in oneself; it is an inner state and generally transitory. People are happy regardless of whether they have a partner or not.

In a working couple the two people are complete, independent and happy. They're together, not because they need each other to be, but because they decide to be..