Stages of love: the stages of a couple’s relationship

Many of us would make the sentence “Love never goes away” our own. Or at least that is what we would like at the height of a relationship. We want time to stand still so that the moment never ends…  We all recognise and remember moments in our lives when, due to the love that we give and receive from other people, a situation that was previously resisted has changed: “No-one can resist love”.

What are the stages of love?

Your relationship with the person you love consists of changes and adaptations by both of you, and in this way, our best version of ourselves is achieved: if you don’t mature as a person, you won’t improve as a couple.

• Infatuation and bedazzlement. Some of the characteristics are: irresistible attraction, high levels of happiness that prevent you from forgetting the person you love, the need to be near them, and an increased level of admiration for them.
• Adaptation. Here, the curiosity, attraction and infatuation ae more pronounced. Gestures and physical characteristics are important, differences are neither acknowledged or noted: if there is anything, it is dismissed as “its no big deal” or  “they will change”. Hardly any conflict exists, and you try to give the best of yourself. This tends to last between two and four months.
• Stabilisation. The physical attraction persists, trust is strengthened; you act in a more relaxed and natural manner,  getting to know each other more; there is an acceptance of differences that may enrich being together, as well as the first arguments, upsets and complaints.  In this context, the question regarding the end of the relationship appears: Where are we going as a couple? The dialogue and sharing some affection, feelings, reactions and thoughts facilitate the replies; the relationship becomes stable and the first decisions are taken as a couple.
• Commitment. When the relationship seems settled. Values are shared and understood, as are lifestyle, present and future goals:, both personal and as a couple; ties that bond with the couple’s family are established and with each person’s friends; conversations are open: planning is done for the medium and long term. This implies a defined emotional maturity and questioning that does not doubt the viability of the relationship.

Tips for keeping love alive as a couple

Is it true that love will end? As often happens when things are disrupted, without tact or respect and  through a sense of entitlement: bad seed cannot grow healthy fruit.  Firstly, always have good manners and respect. It’s no good to say “that’s how I am”, because by doing so, you’re only looking out for yourself, and that doesn’t work in a couple’s relationship!  

What would you do if, at the start of a beautiful relationship you predicted that it would only last a short time? You would look after it as if there was nothing else in the world. Settling into a relationship is not a good habit to adopt. Dedicate some quality time each week to being together and preparing or doing something special: it is easy to find something distinctive that will make your partner happy within your daily life.

• Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Wanting to be right does a lot of harm to the couple! Isn’t it better to be loved? It doesn’t mean to give way to your partner, just to placate them. Look at it from their point of view: observe and think about what might have led them to do what they have done. Perhaps, if you were in their shoes, you might have done the same; and if you’re the one who has caused the pain, patch things up. Don’t end the day without connecting with your partner and saying that “magic word”: sorry.
• Don’t complain! Especially about their family. Like complaints, resentment always grows if it is not stopped. Always speak well of your partner’s family, both to their face and behind their back.
• Don’t make bad things worse. People do the best they can, but sometimes we can make things worse. If you think there is a problem. Don’t wait for your partner to do something to fix it. Make a decision: what can you do to improve the situation?
• No secrets. All couples have issues. It is highly recommended that there should be times for talking about everything with your partner: there should be no secrets between a couple. There may be differences that, in all cases, should enrich the relationship, but on no account should they cause a distancing between you.