5 different love languages

They say, ‘there is only one step between love and hate’.  In love, after the early stages of a relationship comes the stage of routine and, in many cases, conflict.  It is here that relationships can fly high and streng then, or break, and both admit they should go their separate ways.  But, in many cases, these differences can be a distinct way of understanding love between two people and they can be resolved with simple gestures towards each other.

Gary Chapman, marriage therapist, writer and author of the book ‘the 5 love languages’ says there are five general ways of being able to express love.  These different languages can be very important for the relationship to improve, not just with couples, but between friends, colleagues, or family.  Chapman highlights that each person tends to express their love in a certain way and prefers to receive it in specific ways.

The 5 love languages

1. Words of affirmation: this is the language of people who enjoy their loved ones telling them how proud they are of them, in the same way they recognise their achievements with complements. Learn to be generous with these words of appreciation, gratitude,affirmation and affection with your partner. 

2. Quality time: this type of person prefers to be shown love with proper attention when they are with their partner, even if it’s only for a few hours, as long as there is a real connection during this time.  Being withtheir partner, going to a park, watching a film together, enjoying their company for as long as possible without their partner being distracted by their mobile phone, for example, makes them happy.

3. Acts of service: this is the language of those who believe ‘an action is worth a thousand words’, so they place more value on what their partner does for them, such as cooking, cleaning, fixing things, taking charge of the boring jobs, or running errands.  They ask for simple, but meaningful, things day to day. 

4. Receiving gifts: this is the language of people who feel loved through receiving gifts since they appreciate their partner spending time and effort paying attention and caring about them. The meaning of the gift seems to have lost its value in a consumer society: ‘the more presents, and the more expensive, the better’.  But it’s not about being materialistic, a simple handmade gift makes them happy. 

5. Physical touch: we communicate love by physical touch. Holding hands, kissing, hugging and having sexual relations are ways of communicating love to a partner.  People with this language need physical touch to feel loved. They receive love in this way. It is possible that one of the partners needs this language in order to feel loved, if this is the case, make an effort to kiss and hug your partner every day. 

‘The best love is thekind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the firein our hearts and brings peace to our minds’ Nicholas Sparks, author of TheNotebook. 

It is important for you to identify how you like people to show you theirfeelings, but also that you know the love language preferred by your partner.  This way, you can express your feelings in aneffective way and the relationship will be better.